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Our desires over His, our will over His: it's not a frivolous idea, but rather one that we are completely unable to fight through on our own. 1 John says, Our inability to succeed in giving over our heart’s desires to God is not a surprise to Him.
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It became hard to find peace between the God that I loved and this aching, unmet desire to find a companion. It felt like God wasn’t listening, and I was discouraged that my life seemed stuck in a pit of hopelessness with no sign of movement anytime soon.
No amount of flirting made Jesus more desirable to him.
Sure, he could have provided me with every luxury in this world — except the one thing that held the most value to me.
While the first two dates were just awkward encounters that made me feel uncomfortable and probably caused my face to glow red for hours afterwards, the third guy peaked my interest. All my ideas and hopes of leading him to Jesus weren’t realistic.
He didn’t want to talk about church or Jesus, and conversations always turned uncomfortable every time I mentioned either.