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” If the answer to the last question was yes, I committed to say no to the job. It’s not worth becoming the target of someone else’s insecurity, if I can help it.

One Thursday morning, she asked how work was going when I casually mentioned that I had just been to a conference with my co-worker, who happened to be a man.

She got a little bit of a nervous look and said, “Yes, why?

” At this point I began to clue in in that, I, unknowingly and naively, had crossed a boundary.

She looked at me sympathetically and then launched into the speech.