Sexy chat conversation
You're saying some pretty hurtful things to me, and I don't feel like you're being very considerate of my feelings. It’s just that lately I haven’t been in the mood for sex at all. And I know it does, which is why I’m trying to finally talk about it. It’s not about you being a jerk or being bad in bed.
We’re having sex together, so any problems I’m having like this are supposed to be things you care about, too. I wish I was, but I’ve just been so stressed out, these antidepressants are doing a serious number on me, and I also think I’m just feeling unresolved with where we’re at with other parts of our relationship lately. You: I just didn’t want you to feel bad, and I don’t know how to tell you when it’s happening. You: I’m sorry: I can understand you being so upset with me and feeling like that. It’s just that, for starters, I need you to put less pressure on me to orgasm.
You: Yeah, I’m there but I feel like I’m there mostly for what you want, and I’m not other girls: I’m me.
I don’t know about the girls your friends are with, but I know that this isn’t working for me, and I’m the girl whose opinions and feelings should matter here.
I mean, I think it’d be great if from now on, you asked me more about what I like, and I promise that from here on out, when you ask, I’ll tell the truth, even if I think it’ll make you less happy than you might be if I didn’t.
How about we start with the good stuff: that’s easy, right? But it's often painful for me to do it in the position you keep wanting to do it in. So, what can I do to make that even better, and how can we do it so you're comfortable? maybe we could try it like You: I want to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me, and it isn’t easy to talk about, but I need to. You: Well, I keep feeling like maybe you don’t understand that just because you’re finished with sex, that doesn’t mean I am. You: You don’t need to feel terrible: I should have said something before now, I was just too nervous.
And something is wrong right now: I don’t feel like you’re really considering me, and while I understand you might be feeling defensive, I need to be heard – more than your friends – if we’re going to keep having sex. It’s not my problem if normal sex doesn’t work for you.
What I am saying is that when you’re finished, most of the time I’m not, and I need you to either care more about that, or if you already do, to show me that you care by asking if I’m finished, and when I’m not, by asking what else I want to do. You: You know, this is a hard talk for me to have, too, but with you being this angry about it, I don’t feel like we can have it right now.
And since I didn’t what it seems to say about you is that you have a girlfriend who needs to work on speaking up.
And until we talk about what I think I’ll like more, I don’t think it makes sense to make this about you, you know?