Waiting period for dating your therapist
Clients come into counseling emotionally and psychologically vulnerable and in need of assistance, so a counselor trying to engage in such relationships would be trying to take advantage of that client and their vulnerabilities to meet their own needs.
Relational/cultural theory frames this as striving for a “power with” instead of a “power over” relationship.
Envy and resentment do not work well in any friendship. Perhaps your obsessive desire to be friends with your therapist stems back to your childhood and adolescence?
Or else it has more to do with your current situation than you realise?
It’s easy to envision the perfect friendship with the perfect person in a perfect world when you are sealed within the four walls of perfect undivided attention. There is the potential for exploitation of the vulnerable. Most professional therapists have spent many years obtaining the qualifications to practice in the art of helping people – for a fee and it would be unethical for them to obtain their friendship needs from their current crop of clients.
It says more about the therapist than the client when this happens. One can be struck off the register if one is deemed to have had an inappropriate relationship with a client.
DK: As mentioned earlier, the 2005 ACA Code of Ethics increases the prohibition on sexual and romantic interactions with former clients.
The old 1995 code stated that counselors were to avoid sexual intimacies with former clients within two years of termination.
He/she is warm, sensitive, caring and empathic and everything you’ve ever wanted in a friend.I would be appalled if my therapist flapped her dirty laundry in my direction. If I were with her in public I would feel naked and vulnerable and I doubt I would ever feel equal to her which of course is the foundation of an egalitarian relationship. I don’t think I could bear to see her talk intimately with anyone else.That is why it’s a fantastic idea to keep our relationship a business one with many boundaries on both sides. Do you have friends who are warm and positive or do you have issues with people you have known for a long time?What is happening is in the present, not the past and you don’t quite understand it when your therapist tells you that a friendship is not a good idea and will never happen but still you persist because you feel connected and think you both have so much in common. When it is well boundaried it can be a positive healing experience to explore the imagination of a friendship with all its fun and creativity, and this is great – as long as it never happens. He/she knows way more about you than the average person would be comfortable with and it’s a one way street, extremely tipped over in terms of disclosure.Here are five good reasons why it’s not a good idea to become friends with your therapist. Therapy is not a mutual sharing of intimate secrets. If, in the very unlikely possibility my therapist and I became equal friends, it would rapidly become unbalanced because I would become very possessive and jealous in a short space of time.